Before we get into a full-blown lesson/unit on discrimination and bullying, I'd like to share a post I found that defines bullying. I apologize that I can't provide you with a link to the original; I can't remember where I found it! If I can find it again, I'll add the link.

(Copied): 

Many sources report that the U.S. is experiencing an epidemic of bullying, and the Stopbullying.gov website reports that as many as 28 percent of sixth- to twelfth-grade students have been bullied. It is often difficult to distinguish ordinary social clashes from bullying; it is important to do so, however, because they require very different responses on the part of bystanders and adults.

What Is “Normal”?

Social conflict refers to disagreements between two or more people with equal power or control. Generally, both parties are very emotional about the argument, which usually centers on something external to both sides: siblings arguing over which television show to watch or who gets the biggest piece of cake, peers squabbling over a potential girlfriend or boyfriend. Typically, both parties want the problem resolved, and both are usually willing to take responsibility and will show remorse, eventually. Most often, if the external focus goes away, the conflict ends.

It is important not to intervene too quickly in these kinds of situations. While it is nice to believe that people can always get along, the reality is that, even as adults, folks disagree, sometimes to the point of loud arguments. It is important for children and teens to have the opportunity to learn to resolve issues for themselves. As a parent or teacher, your best help is to teach your child conflict resolution skills like active listening and compromise. If necessary, you might referee a discussion between the sides, but let the feuding factions lead the conversation.

When Is It Bullying?

Bullying looks very different from everyday conflict and disagreement. A bully fully intends to hurt the target, either physically or emotionally, and behaves aggressively to do so. Bullying is a pattern of behavior, rather than a single episode; it always involves an imbalance of power that make it difficult, if not impossible, for the target to make it stop, such as a bigger student harassing a smaller one or a popular student bullying someone less popular. Although bullies often defend themselves by claiming they were only “kidding around,” the teasing involved is unwanted -- a situation in which all involved are not enjoying the joke. Verbal bullying involves attacks on internal qualities of the target, such as appearance, grades or socio-economic status.

Bullying is also characterized by a difference in the emotional response to the actions. In a normal social quarrel, the reactions are fairly equal; when bullying is involved, the victim feels fear, perhaps anger, but the bully has little or no emotional response at all. The bully is seeking power, control or material possessions, rather than the resolution sought in ordinary conflict. The threats are often very serious, and the bully may blame the target for the problem.

Bullying requires immediate intervention, and it should not involve having the two parties “talk it over.” A victim should never be forced to participate in mediation efforts, nor should he be held responsible in any way. A bully is the only one accountable for the unacceptable behaviors, and he is the only one responsible for changing the behaviors and attitudes.

One encouraging point, however, is that 56 percent of tweens and young teens report that they have either done something to stand up to a bully or have reported it to someone with the power to make it stop. Empowering students with strategies for not joining in, seeking adult help, taking a stand, mobilizing peer response or befriending the bullied peer offer another layer of resources to combat this problem.

Spring's On the Way -- Bring It in With Book Fun!

I love, love, love gardening…well, I love the IDEA of gardening, but maybe not so much the hard work. Reading about gardens is the next best thing, and Eric Ode's new book, Too Many Tomatoes, is perfect book to start spring.

Ode's rollicking rhymes and illustrator Kent Culotta's gorgeous pictures take us through the fun of planting and growing fruits and vegetables, and anyone who has ever grown tomatoes will empathize with the narrator and his grandparents, as they find themselves facing a surfeit of the sweet fruits! This book also provides so many teaching points throughout, from alliteration to rhymes to measurement and cooking.

Click here to order your own copy of this fun-packed picture book, or click here for a free lesson plan set to accompany the book.

Wilfrid Gordon Partridge MacDonald

Sorry to miss you all last week – but stomach viruses and computer time don’t come together well! That said, let’s get to the important stuff: books! This week, I’m taking us all back to some older favorites. We’ll explore new books, too, as the weeks pass, but like the cold weather brings cravings for comfort food, it also makes me want the old, comfortable books!

Today, I’d like to share a wonderful, warm book for younger readers – one that tells the story of one boy’s compassion and concern for his neighbors. Wilfrid Gordon Partridge MacDonald, by Mem Fox and Julie Vivas, tells how Wilfrid helped his friend and neighbor, Nancy Alison Delacourt Cooper when she lost her memory. Before he can help, though, he asks his other friends in the nursing home next door to help him understand what “memory” means.

                 Get your copy of this wonderful book at Usborne Books & More!

Helping Children Understand the Book

There's absolutely nothing wrong with reading a book just to enjoy it, and this book is a great one for that. However, if you want to help your child read and comprehend the story a bit better, these ideas may help.

Pre-reading 

• Ask your reader what he thinks “memory” means. Discuss the idea that a memory is about remembering things that have happened. Talk about some memories you share and about what makes those memories special. Ask what kinds of things remind your reader of those memories: Does a certain toy help him remember a special family vacation, or does a certain smell remind him of Grandma?

• Talk about some words in the story that might be unfamiliar: organ, speckled, lad, errand, tram, admire, porridge. For classroom or homeschool lessons, have your child fold a piece of paper in half "hot dog" style (lengthwise). Then she should fold it in half "hamburger style" twice. When she unfolds her new vocabulary sheet, she should have eight boxes. In the first box, let her print the book title and author; she could draw a picture then of what she predicts will happen in the story. In each of the remaining blocks, have her print one of the new words and draw a picture or symbol that will help her remember what the word means. Do not over-direct her symbol selection; as long as she can explain to you (1) what the word means, and (2) why/how the symbol cues her in to the meaning, it's a good choice. Remember -- this is about what helps the reader remember, not what helps Mom or the teacher!

Post-reading

•  To check whether your reader understood the plot and timeline of the story, let him create a "graphic novel" or comic strip version of the story. For those who are less artistically gifted -- like me! -- thumbprints make fun characters when you add facial features and limbs with markers, colored pencils or pens! 

• Bring the story into your child's world by helping him use a Venn diagram to compare Wilfrid to himself or to compare the memories in the book to his own cherished recollections.

 Writing It Down to Understand More

This book lends itself to so many writing possibilities that it's hard to know which to include here! Use these suggestions as a starting point for generating your own ideas!

•   Encourage your reader to write acrostic poems for MEMORY, FRIEND or SHARE. An acrostic is a poem in which the first word of each line begins with the next letter of the topic word. For example:

Really wet outside today --

Almost like a river in the streets.

I know Mom thinks it's a mess --

Not me, though -- I think it's fun! 

• Help your child start her own journal for capturing memories. For even more fun, use the instructions below for making a book to create the journal. 

•   Story or journal entry prompts:

§  My Favorite Memory

§  What would you give (family member or close friend) if s/he lost his/her memory? How do you think it would help?

§  What is (abstract noun: love, friendship, etc.)?

Crafting Your Way to Book Fun

Okay, now comes the best part: making stuff! Join your kids in the maybe-messy creative process!

• Who doesn't love playing with puppets? Let the kids make some puppets to use in retelling the story.

*    Stick puppets: Glue your child's cutout drawings of Wilfrid and his friends to craft sticks. He can embellish them with yarn hair and scrap fabric clothes, or he can stick to his unadorned drawings. An old file folder with a slit cut into one side makes a quick and easy backdrop with a little crayon action.

*    Sock puppets: Now's your chance to give lonely, mate-less socks a new purpose in life! Add yarn or paper hair to your puppet, then use buttons, felt or just markers to add eyes and a nose. Slide the puppet over your hand, tuck it in between your thumb and your palm, and you're set!

• ·  "Something warm" is the way one of Wilfrid's friends describes a memory. Use extra-fuzzy yarn to braid or finger-crochet bracelets to remind each other of this heartwarming book. Learn to finger-crochet at Sahrit's Eye for Cuteness blog at http://www.sahrit.com/crochet-with-your-fingers/ .

•  Use air-drying clay to make "medals" for the neighborhood heroes your child knows -- including law enforcement officers, firefighters, doctors and nurses, the mail delivery person, maybe the grocer or babysitter. Little hands can use dull pencils or toothpicks to "etch" the design into the clay. Poke a hole in the top, and then run a ribbon through the hole before making the presentations.

• Go green with memory making by using old potato chip cans to create memory boxes. Paint the outside or cover it with scrapbooking paper. Then your child can decoupage photos and other images from a favorite vacation or event to the outside. (Mix 1 part plain white glue to 1 part water -- there's no need to buy expensive products!). Inside, she can place small souvenirs, more pictures and journaling cards to recreate those memories many years later. Make the cards by cutting 3" x 5" cards in half "hamburger style" or cut small rectangles from scrapbooking or any other kind of paper.

• Make a book for your child to use as a journal. While there are many ways to do this, make it special by starting with an old damaged hardcover book. Cut the front and back covers away from the pages before your child decorates the outsides with photos, drawings, beads, stickers, or anything else she can find. Drill/punch a hole about 1" from the top and another about 1" from the bottom of the covers and in paper that you've cut to fit inside the covers. Tie the whole thing together with yarn, ribbon, leather thongs or other cording.

Oh, and don't throw the book cover's spine away! Cover it to match the journal, and it makes a great bookmark to save your child's place in her journal.

Getting Involved to Make the Story Real

I think that encouraging children to volunteer to give back to their community is a gift second only to teaching them to read. Wilfrid Gordon Partridge MacDonald's unselfishness can inspire any number of ways to help others.

• The most obvious community action related to this book is making visits to retirement centers and nursing homes. If your child has enough experience being around older people, especially those who may not be in good health, this is a great opportunity. However, you know your child best; if he (or you) is going to be markedly uncomfortable, don't push the idea; there are many other ways to get involved! Keep it from being overwhelming by contacting staff ahead of time to set up a visit with just one resident, rather than wandering the halls and gathering rooms!

• Add an extra layer of caring to your nursing home visits by making lap robes for the resident(s) you'll be visiting. Your child can make an easy mini blanket by cutting 1" strips, about 6" long, around the edges of a yard of fleece fabric. After the strips are cut -- and you may want to help with that part -- a quick knot tied close to the uncut part of the fabric turns it into a toasty cover for lap and legs.

• Wilfrid wanted to help Miss Nancy because they were friends. Help you child make "Caught You Being a Good Friend" cards to share whenever she sees someone showing friendship to someone else. The cards can be as simple or as elaborate as she chooses, ranging from crayon or colored pencils drawings up to embellished pieces adorned with fabric, yarn, beads, stickers or any other "treasures." Again, index cards or cardstock work well for this project. You can also take a shortcut by buying blank artist trading cards.

• Finally, for those kids who want to do something for nursing home residents but don't feel comfortable in visiting physically, contact the staff for a name or two, and let your child write letters and make cards to mail to a resident. It's amazing what a simple letter or card from a child can do to alleviate the loneliness someone might be feeling!